Defusing Mom

As a parent, there are times that I have gotten so frustrated with my kids and the way they are behaving, that I seem to lose my mind a little.  I try sweet mother of the earth and love the first seventeen times I ask them to do something, but on the eighteenth time, I just explode.  Then my son will say, jeez ok mom.  Then I justify my hatefulness with, well if you had listened to me any one of the times I asked you to begin with, I wouldn’t have got so angry!  But isn’t that exactly what we try to teach our kids NOT to do?

If they aren’t good at something to begin with, we talk them through it and tell that it doesn’t matter how many times they fail, it’s about how hard they try and keep to keep going.  We don’t let them try it a couple times and then just give up, we encourage them and cheer them on until they succeed.  We tell them it’s okay to get upset, but to use their words and try to figure out a solution.

We expect more of our kids than we expect of ourselves.

If you have never had a mini explosion at your kids, good for you, you can’t sit with us.  Keep in mind, I am not by any means referring to hitting or belittling your children.  I mean when they push you too far and you ground them for seven years in a fit of unreasonable ramblings over not taking their cup to the sink because you’ve asked them a bazillion times.

Why is it that I expect my children to always use their words and to react to conflict appropriately when they are so new to this world?  There are so many things that we, as adults, understand and are well aware of yet we still do not use our words and react to them appropriately.  I mean really, have you ever been to the DMV, changed your last name, or heaven forbid tried to get through to a human being when calling a large company.  I know I tend to justify what I would classify as bad behavior if it were coming from my child when I am the one who is guilty.

I hate the fact that I can really relate to the beast from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast when he screams at the door and his servants tell him to watch his temper and he says, “but she’s being so difficult!”  That is how I know I am old, I now relate to the villain or the parents in Disney movies more than the Princesses.

What’s my point in this?  The next time your child does not use their words or attempt to solve conflict in a positive way, remember, some days the whole world feels like the DMV to them, we are all human, and sometimes using your words is hard.   When you feel like you are going to explode, think about what you would say to your child and say that to yourself, take a few deep breaths, and then proceed.  You will never regret reacting calmly when you probably could’ve justified a minor meltdown.

 

2 thoughts on “Defusing Mom

  1. Should have read this yesterday! Had a mommy meltdown myself yesterday! Been working so hard to get Mav to stop blaming everything on someone/something else and then I caught myself yesterday saying “If you would just listen I wouldn’t have to yell”! Let’s see, that is blaming him for my behavior! Back to step one! Ahhh!

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